about lil' Phil

Lil' Phil is 8 weeks old today! He has been such a joyful addition to our family.

Here is more about lil' Phil:

-he has little hairs on his ears
-he cooed at two weeks old and smiled at four weeks
-he likes to be swaddled
-he is very cuddly
-he likes the football hold the best
-he looks at you and has a conversation sometimes
-he finally likes the swing
-he likes being outside
-he doesn't like getting a bath
-he doesn't care about sitting in a wet or dirty diaper
-he is sleeping 5 hours straight at night now!!

And he has three sisters who still adore him and love on him constantly...

We love you lil' Phil and are enjoying each day with you. Looking forward to many more.

renewing my mind

Day 2 of my husband, my lover, my best friend being gone...

I get a lot of questions like, "How do you do it?" and "I'm so sorry" from some who I talk to about him being deployed.

I want to answer those questions with a good answer, a spiritual answer that is hidden in my heart, yet it seems like it would take a long time to explain.

So let me explain it here...
Romans 12:1 says, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will."

I reminded myself today of this verse as I got up this morning. I accepted Christ Jesus at the age of 29, therefore sin has no power and authority in me. I can feel sad, depressed, angry or mad, but Jesus Christ overcame this for me (for everyone!) so that I can have instead joy and peace as I walk in the Spirit.

That is how I do it....that is how I am able to smile in pictures right before my man leaves. That is how I am able to carry on without him. That is how I am able to train my children up in Truth, that is how I can stay sane when the world is falling down around me. My life is hidden in Christ Jesus now. My old self is gone and the new is here. I can be a good mother because Christ lives in me. I can be a loving mother because Christ lives in me. I can raise my children to love God and love others because Christ lives in me. He died so that I might have life...I don't want to waste my life on the mundane. The petty stuff. You know what I'm talkin about... like what the Word calls temporary things.

I want to live for eternity each and every day. Every minute of the day. It is, after all, only what counts. What matters the most is love.. loving the Lord my God with all my heart. If I do that, loving others comes easy. He loves so I can love because His love dwells within me...


I know that I am a single parent right now for a whole year. It sucks. I would love for my man to be here.

But this separation is preparing me to be useful in God's kingdom while I'm here. I know his ways are higher than mine, his thoughts higher than my thoughts. I am glad they are because I have some messed up thoughts sometimes...

I'm learning to trust Him and lean not on my own understanding. The world will look and talk and make discouraging or unhelpful comments about my situation...but...

I want to stay strong in the Lord. He is here with me, he cares about me. I believe He exists and that His Word is true. I will renew my mind in His Truth for it is all I have to stand on. It has helped me in numerous situation and it will help me now.

After all, I do feel His peace, His joy, and His presence that the Word of God speaks about.

So that is how I am makin it. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I can do this deployment and do it well in the Spirit. I have four beautiful children to raise for His glory.

I know He will be my helper. He is faithful. He will never leave me nor forsake me....

(Now does anybody know how I can make this answer somehow shorter?!)

A letter to daddy

Dear Daddy,

We love you and miss you. Last night we had to say goodbye to you. It will be a long time before we see you. It will seem like forever to us, but we will look forward to seeing you on our web cam and hearing your voice on the phone.

Today we had chicken noodle soup for breakfast. Kamelah wasn't feeling well so mommy made soup on the stove and we drank ginger ale.

When we were getting dressed, a neighbor dropped off this book. It is called, "I Miss You!" and it is a military kid's book about deployment.

We thank God for kind neighbors who care and understand.

At 11:00 we said goodbye to Grandma Mary and Grandad Phil. They will be back home on Friday with, they said "lots of junk mail" to look forward to.

Mommy took us to the library. Baby brother slept the whole time we were there.


Then she took us to the park and baby brother was still sleeping. It was hot outside but we still played on the playground and ate lunch under a shady tree.



We met a new friend at the park from our neighborhood and we hope she will play with us again.

We then went to Dairy Queen for some ice cream. Baby brother was still sleeping. He kept mommy up last night so he was tired...

We then went back home and mommy read us a story. Mommy had to work on the computer so we had quiet time for 30 minutes and then we got to play on the computer. We play on the American Girl website and PBS kids.

Then we got to watch a short video before dinner. We ate leftovers...chicken, macaroni and cheese, green beans, and sweet potatoes. We thought about you when we ate those sweet potatoes. We know how much you like them...we liked them too!!

Then we cleaned up and listened to Adventure in Odyessy on the radio. Mommy got lil' Phil ready and we headed outside for a walk. It was nice outside and getting dark. We miss walking with our neighbor and her dog. She is headed to Japan today.


After we got home we got ready for bed and mommy heated a soft pretzel in the microwave for us to eat. The phone rang a few times and mommy was hoping that was you. We prayed for you...we look forward to seeing you on the web cam soon.

Mommy read out of our devotion books and put us to bed. We will be helping a friend move tomorrow and going to one of mommy's friends for dinner. We will continue to pray for you.

We love you and miss you so much.

Love,
Kamelah, Zaria and Anaya

The birth story of Lil' Philip

lil' Phil shortly after birth



Motherhood: If it was going to be easy it never would have started with something called labor.
-Barbara Johnson

As with all my labor and delivery experiences, I don’t want to ever forget even the tiniest detail of each one. So as I think back at how we welcomed into the world our long awaited son in the most peaceful, special, and joyful way, I hope that I can describe, word for word, each incredible moment as they happened that day…
Here is the story of how God’s love, kindness, and faithfulness surrounded the birth of one of His own beautiful creations. I share this experience in order to magnify and glorify the One and Only living God, who continually shows me over and over again His love and devotion to His people. He is an intimate God, a relational God, a caring God, and He can be trusted. And as we pondered the thought of having a home birth, there came a point where I had to let go of the “what if’s” and make a decision to believe in the “I Am”, for scripture says, when I am afraid, I will trust in You, in God whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. (Psalm 56:3-4) Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

I started really feeling regular contractions at around 2:30 PM on Saturday, June 27th. It was a day that I did not expect to go into labor as my due date was the 30th of June and I had no “false” contractions or any indication that I would give birth any time soon. The girls and I went swimming in our neighborhood pool earlier that morning and I felt light cramping and slight back pain as I was helping Anaya learn to swim and catching her as she jumped into my arms from the side of the pool over and over again. I thought to myself, “This girl is gonna get me ready for labor before I know it!,” as I always did each time I went to the pool with her active little self, not really believing it though. We walked back home and I continued to feel cramping but didn’t think much more about it either.
Phil took Kamelah and Zaria out for a day of fun after we got home. I didn’t know where they were all going but I was glad that they would have some time to spend with Daddy. I knew Anaya and I would have our own little special time together. Little did I know how “special” that time would really be…
After they left, I felt an intense desire to clean dirt from the walls and to finish doing laundry. So we did some work around the house and then watched a short video as I started to feel more intense cramping and back pain regularly. I decided to time the contractions at around 3:15 pm and they were about 10 minutes apart. I waited to call Phil to see if they grew more intense and closer together. I knew the girls were having fun with Daddy and I normally have long labors and so I didn’t want them to rush home to have to wait a long time to see the baby.
I was getting excited at this point. If this was the real thing, then I was soon about to give birth to the son I dreamed of and desired to see since finding out I was pregnant.
4:00 pm. Anaya goes down for a nap and I go to the computer. I read a beautiful story of a woman who gave birth at home with her husband. It was encouraging and inspiring and so I prayed that this baby would be healthy and whole and that the labor and delivery would go smoothly and according to His plans. I called a friend and she prayed for me over the phone and after I contacted my doula, Ashley, she was praying too. I then felt confident that this baby was going to be born at home and I had no fears or doubts. The Lord had spoken to me in my heart and said that I was “in the palm of His hand”. I believed it and knew He would continue to give me peace throughout the labor process.
The contractions kept coming as I continued to prepare myself mentally for what was to happen. At around 6:00 Anaya awoke. I decided to take her to the ponds in our backyard to feed the ducks and geese and so that I could progress quickly in labor. I had forgotten about all the hills to walk up and down and the fact that I had a very active toddler to keep up after. She really wore me out runnin’ after her. She would look at me as I stopped at each contraction in order to focus and let them come. She knew something was happening but didn’t know what. I enjoyed being in a natural environment, yet I hoped I would be able to make it back to the house before baby made its way into the world. Our backyard is beautiful but not an ideal place for me to have a baby.
7:30 pm. I ran a bath and Anaya and I got in. It was nice and Anaya loved to the play in the bubbles, pressing the “bubble button” repeatedly and turning the water facet on and off. Meanwhile my contractions were getting even closer together…about 5 minutes apart. I tried to call Phil and left a peaceful message telling him I was in active labor, but it would probably be a while ‘til baby came. I did not want him to rush home because I knew they were all havin’ fun and a special time together.
I called my doula around 8:00 pm again and told her my contractions were coming closer together. She told me that she would come over as soon as she put her kids to bed. I didn’t want her to rush just as I didn’t want Phil to rush home because I felt such peace and thought again that this was just the very beginning. I had a long way to go….
Little did I know that I was dilated further along than I thought. Around 8:30 I decided to sit on a chair in the shower and let the water relax me. I had done this when I was in labor with Zaria and Anaya and it helped immensely through each contraction.
My little labor companion, Anaya, followed me into the shower. She was so peaceful and content. She did not cry, fuss, or whine the entire time I was in the bathtub or the shower with her. She stood behind me in the shower most of the time for almost 2 hours!
Ashley got to the house around 9:15 pm and I was still in the shower. She prepared for the birth, getting a bowl for the placenta, rubber gloves ready, a crock pot full of water to heat cloths, and scissors to cut the cord. My mail order home birth kit was opened and ready to use with umbilical clamps, pads, a syringe, gloves, and various other equipment to aide in the birth. I really started to experience contractions that were longer and more intense…three minutes apart.
At about 10:00 I decide to go to the bathroom and as I do my water breaks!! I am now completely sure I will give birth sometime tonight!!
Phil had not called yet but I felt confident that he was going to make the birth. I continued to have hard contractions as I leaned up against the side of the bathtub. I started feeling his head pressing down. Ashley told me to wait to push until I couldn’t do anything else but push. It was hard waiting…but I knew I needed to.
At this point I told Ashley to start the water in the bath. I thought that the water would help relax me as I felt my stomach tighten with each contraction, my back cramping up, and the pressure of baby’s head. Ashley read scriptures about strength, hope, peace, and love to help encourage me through the labor process.
At around 10:30pm Phil calls and Ashley tells him to come home soon as I am in active labor!! They were at a local football game and he had left his cell phone in the car. I was happy that they were coming and I knew I had to hold out before they came home.
At around 11:00pm Phil and the older girls arrive home and I am in the bathtub with my back facing them, contracting what seemed like every two to three minutes. They were probably all wondering what was going on but I couldn’t even talk or think about explaining at that point. Phil was calm and I turned and faced him and smiled as that was the only thing I could do until my next contraction…the smile turned into a small moan…
I remember asking Ashley if I could push yet…she kept telling me to hold out until I couldn’t bear it any longer. She checked me at some point and told me she could feel babies head. I was excited but didn’t want to be too anxious to push…with Anaya I pushed for almost 2 hours and it seemed like forever before she came.
At around 11:30 pm I really felt the urge to bear down. Ashley prayed that God would give me wisdom when to push. I had one more contraction and then at that point I pushed on the next one. I felt his head come out then go back in. Then with the next contraction I pushed again and he came out further… and then as I continued to push he came out some more. Ashley told me to let the next contraction build and then push all the way and…he came!!!!
I remember then laying my back up against the tub and Ashley putting his warm body on my chest right away. I cried as I looked at him. He was so beautiful. His lips were full, his hair was black and curly, and his body, toes, and fingers were perfectly formed. His eyes were closed and he did not cry at first. He seemed very peaceful and content lying on me as I held him in my arms for the very first time.
The hours after his birth were incredible. The girls came back into the bathroom right after he was born to meet their brother. I was able to feed him right away and Daddy was able to cut the cord. We enjoyed looking, touching, and holding our lil’ guy and I felt so blessed to have another beautiful healthy child to love and take care of.

Trust in the Lord and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Delight yourself in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
-Psalm 37:3-4



Ashley’s story of the birth of lil’ Philip:
I have all confidence that God, who created heaven and earth, planned out the day according to his perfect will. Around 9pm Ashley, the Doula, arrived at the Johnson home. Mary Kay was in the shower with her 2yr old daughter, Anaya. Mary Kay was very focused and let out no more than an "ouch" when the contractions came. God's peace had filled the room so that even little Anaya was filled with it as she watched her mom labor. Ashley went about setting items from the birth kit in place, while the contractions became increasingly stronger. Scriptures speaking of God's peace and strength and wisdom were read as Mary Kay leaned on the Lord for strength. She decided to spend some time squatting in front of the tub until she began to feel pressure from the baby's head. Her water broke, bringing more intensity to the contractions. She got in the tub to find relief, but only found the urge to push! She held back the urge until Phil made it home with Kamelah and Zaria from the Climbing Place. Warm wash cloths soothed back labor. Twenty minutes went by and two pushes later, little Phil was born! Phil Sr. cut the cord and Mary Kay was able to nurse right away. The placenta was delivered half an hour later. The girls welcomed their new little brother with kisses and lots of pictures. You could not have asked for a more peaceful birth. Thanks be to God for the many answered prayers!
This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him. -1 John 5:14-15

Pic of lil' Philip

Here he is at just two days old:

Lil' Phil is a week old!!!

As we celebrate the 4th of July we are also celebrating our baby boy being with us for seven days!!!

Lil' Philip,

We love you and are so happy that you have been with us for one week. We have enjoyed you and have grown in knowing and seeing our Heavenly Father's love through you. We look forward to many many more healthy and happy days with you.

Love,

Your family that is so blessed to haved you!

Philip Lawrence Johnson, Jr. has arrived!!!

Well my lil' Philip has been born and it has been almost a week since his arrival. I am going to post some pics soon and I am working on his birth story and will post that too. Please be patient with me as I am adjusting to his schedule. He loves being awake at different times of the night...especially around 4 am. That is when I can actually sit down and type and catch up on e-mail...

So I am enjoying every moment with him as I know that these days are going so quickly and he soon will be crawling and walking and doin' all sorts of grown things.

For now, I enjoy him looking at me with those dark brown eyes...I enjoy holding him and feeling his soft skin and soft hair...I enjoy changing his diaper...I really do. It is different than changing a girl....and he has sprayed my hands many times, so you think I would have learned to cover him with a clean diaper right away....
but, you know, I don't care because he has brought me so much joy and delight with these things that I laugh and kiss and hug on him even more...

I thank God for this precious little one...the days are passing so quickly, yet I am hoping to slow down the minutes as I hold and feed and care for our little angel...

I hope to share him with you all soon.

God bless.