lil' Phil shortly after birthMotherhood: If it was going to be easy it never would have started with something called labor.
-Barbara Johnson
As with all my labor and delivery experiences, I don’t want to ever forget even the tiniest detail of each one. So as I think back at how we welcomed into the world our long awaited son in the most peaceful, special, and joyful way, I hope that I can describe, word for word, each incredible moment as they happened that day…
Here is the story of how God’s love, kindness, and faithfulness surrounded the birth of one of His own beautiful creations. I share this experience in order to magnify and glorify the One and Only living God, who continually shows me over and over again His love and devotion to His people. He is an intimate God, a relational God, a caring God, and He can be trusted. And as we pondered the thought of having a home birth, there came a point where I had to let go of the “what if’s” and make a decision to believe in the “I Am”, for scripture says, when I am afraid, I will trust in You, in God whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. (Psalm 56:3-4) Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
I started really feeling regular contractions at around 2:30 PM on Saturday, June 27th. It was a day that I did not expect to go into labor as my due date was the 30th of June and I had no “false” contractions or any indication that I would give birth any time soon. The girls and I went swimming in our neighborhood pool earlier that morning and I felt light cramping and slight back pain as I was helping Anaya learn to swim and catching her as she jumped into my arms from the side of the pool over and over again. I thought to myself, “This girl is gonna get me ready for labor before I know it!,” as I always did each time I went to the pool with her active little self, not really believing it though. We walked back home and I continued to feel cramping but didn’t think much more about it either.
Phil took Kamelah and Zaria out for a day of fun after we got home. I didn’t know where they were all going but I was glad that they would have some time to spend with Daddy. I knew Anaya and I would have our own little special time together. Little did I know how “special” that time would really be…
After they left, I felt an intense desire to clean dirt from the walls and to finish doing laundry. So we did some work around the house and then watched a short video as I started to feel more intense cramping and back pain regularly. I decided to time the contractions at around 3:15 pm and they were about 10 minutes apart. I waited to call Phil to see if they grew more intense and closer together. I knew the girls were having fun with Daddy and I normally have long labors and so I didn’t want them to rush home to have to wait a long time to see the baby.
I was getting excited at this point. If this was the real thing, then I was soon about to give birth to the son I dreamed of and desired to see since finding out I was pregnant.
4:00 pm. Anaya goes down for a nap and I go to the computer. I read a beautiful story of a woman who gave birth at home with her husband. It was encouraging and inspiring and so I prayed that this baby would be healthy and whole and that the labor and delivery would go smoothly and according to His plans. I called a friend and she prayed for me over the phone and after I contacted my doula, Ashley, she was praying too. I then felt confident that this baby was going to be born at home and I had no fears or doubts. The Lord had spoken to me in my heart and said that I was “in the palm of His hand”. I believed it and knew He would continue to give me peace throughout the labor process.
The contractions kept coming as I continued to prepare myself mentally for what was to happen. At around 6:00 Anaya awoke. I decided to take her to the ponds in our backyard to feed the ducks and geese and so that I could progress quickly in labor. I had forgotten about all the hills to walk up and down and the fact that I had a very active toddler to keep up after. She really wore me out runnin’ after her. She would look at me as I stopped at each contraction in order to focus and let them come. She knew something was happening but didn’t know what. I enjoyed being in a natural environment, yet I hoped I would be able to make it back to the house before baby made its way into the world. Our backyard is beautiful but not an ideal place for me to have a baby.
7:30 pm. I ran a bath and Anaya and I got in. It was nice and Anaya loved to the play in the bubbles, pressing the “bubble button” repeatedly and turning the water facet on and off. Meanwhile my contractions were getting even closer together…about 5 minutes apart. I tried to call Phil and left a peaceful message telling him I was in active labor, but it would probably be a while ‘til baby came. I did not want him to rush home because I knew they were all havin’ fun and a special time together.
I called my doula around 8:00 pm again and told her my contractions were coming closer together. She told me that she would come over as soon as she put her kids to bed. I didn’t want her to rush just as I didn’t want Phil to rush home because I felt such peace and thought again that this was just the very beginning. I had a long way to go….
Little did I know that I was dilated further along than I thought. Around 8:30 I decided to sit on a chair in the shower and let the water relax me. I had done this when I was in labor with Zaria and Anaya and it helped immensely through each contraction.
My little labor companion, Anaya, followed me into the shower. She was so peaceful and content. She did not cry, fuss, or whine the entire time I was in the bathtub or the shower with her. She stood behind me in the shower most of the time for almost 2 hours!
Ashley got to the house around 9:15 pm and I was still in the shower. She prepared for the birth, getting a bowl for the placenta, rubber gloves ready, a crock pot full of water to heat cloths, and scissors to cut the cord. My mail order home birth kit was opened and ready to use with umbilical clamps, pads, a syringe, gloves, and various other equipment to aide in the birth. I really started to experience contractions that were longer and more intense…three minutes apart.
At about 10:00 I decide to go to the bathroom and as I do my water breaks!! I am now completely sure I will give birth sometime tonight!!
Phil had not called yet but I felt confident that he was going to make the birth. I continued to have hard contractions as I leaned up against the side of the bathtub. I started feeling his head pressing down. Ashley told me to wait to push until I couldn’t do anything else but push. It was hard waiting…but I knew I needed to.
At this point I told Ashley to start the water in the bath. I thought that the water would help relax me as I felt my stomach tighten with each contraction, my back cramping up, and the pressure of baby’s head. Ashley read scriptures about strength, hope, peace, and love to help encourage me through the labor process.
At around 10:30pm Phil calls and Ashley tells him to come home soon as I am in active labor!! They were at a local football game and he had left his cell phone in the car. I was happy that they were coming and I knew I had to hold out before they came home.
At around 11:00pm Phil and the older girls arrive home and I am in the bathtub with my back facing them, contracting what seemed like every two to three minutes. They were probably all wondering what was going on but I couldn’t even talk or think about explaining at that point. Phil was calm and I turned and faced him and smiled as that was the only thing I could do until my next contraction…the smile turned into a small moan…
I remember asking Ashley if I could push yet…she kept telling me to hold out until I couldn’t bear it any longer. She checked me at some point and told me she could feel babies head. I was excited but didn’t want to be too anxious to push…with Anaya I pushed for almost 2 hours and it seemed like forever before she came.
At around 11:30 pm I really felt the urge to bear down. Ashley prayed that God would give me wisdom when to push. I had one more contraction and then at that point I pushed on the next one. I felt his head come out then go back in. Then with the next contraction I pushed again and he came out further… and then as I continued to push he came out some more. Ashley told me to let the next contraction build and then push all the way and…he came!!!!
I remember then laying my back up against the tub and Ashley putting his warm body on my chest right away. I cried as I looked at him. He was so beautiful. His lips were full, his hair was black and curly, and his body, toes, and fingers were perfectly formed. His eyes were closed and he did not cry at first. He seemed very peaceful and content lying on me as I held him in my arms for the very first time.
The hours after his birth were incredible. The girls came back into the bathroom right after he was born to meet their brother. I was able to feed him right away and Daddy was able to cut the cord. We enjoyed looking, touching, and holding our lil’ guy and I felt so blessed to have another beautiful healthy child to love and take care of.
Trust in the Lord and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Delight yourself in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
-Psalm 37:3-4
Ashley’s story of the birth of lil’ Philip:
I have all confidence that God, who created heaven and earth, planned out the day according to his perfect will. Around 9pm Ashley, the Doula, arrived at the Johnson home. Mary Kay was in the shower with her 2yr old daughter, Anaya. Mary Kay was very focused and let out no more than an "ouch" when the contractions came. God's peace had filled the room so that even little Anaya was filled with it as she watched her mom labor. Ashley went about setting items from the birth kit in place, while the contractions became increasingly stronger. Scriptures speaking of God's peace and strength and wisdom were read as Mary Kay leaned on the Lord for strength. She decided to spend some time squatting in front of the tub until she began to feel pressure from the baby's head. Her water broke, bringing more intensity to the contractions. She got in the tub to find relief, but only found the urge to push! She held back the urge until Phil made it home with Kamelah and Zaria from the Climbing Place. Warm wash cloths soothed back labor. Twenty minutes went by and two pushes later, little Phil was born! Phil Sr. cut the cord and Mary Kay was able to nurse right away. The placenta was delivered half an hour later. The girls welcomed their new little brother with kisses and lots of pictures. You could not have asked for a more peaceful birth. Thanks be to God for the many answered prayers!
This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him. -1 John 5:14-15
