Merry Christmas to you all...

A CHRISTMAS MESSAGE

A
babe.
Born in a
manger.
He is Emmanuel.
God is with us!
How amazing that God became
a man and walked among us.
He was born of a virgin by the power of
the Holy Spirit. He came so that we might have life.
He is our Savior and we need Him to free us of our sin.
How awesome that He had this plan from the beginning.
A plan to radically change each sinful heart for His purposes and glory.
What a God! He came into the world in a lowly stable and humbled himself
by sacrificing His life for us. His ministry was short, but He forever changed the course
of history...He is Jesus Christ. King of Kings and Lord of Lords. He is our God, our Creator. All power
-ful, all knowing. He is not of this world and we did not recognize Him. He who knew no sin yet became sin for
us so that we might receive eternal life with Him. We celebrate Him today and every day after for His goodness, for His kindness and mercy
to us. His promise
to bring a Savior
into the world was
fulfilled and we are
rejoicing with the
angels on this day!


Merry Christmas to you and Happy New Year!!!! We hope to see you all in 2010.....Much love from the Johnson's

In Georgia

Hello Family and Friends,

We arrived safely in Georgia. We are visiting friends here right now through the new year. Found out last night that Lil' Phil has pnemonia so please pray for him to recover quickly. I will be writing more soon of our adventures here in GA....much love to you all and may you have peace and joy as we prepare for the birthday of our Savior!!

So thankful

A thanksgiving message way to late.

I am thankful for my husband who is serving our country and enduring so much over there that I have never experienced nor probably ever will experience in my life time.

I am thankful for my beautiful daughters and my handsome lil' son who have changed my life...they've added meaning and purpose where there was none....and joy and happiness....and have brought me a whole lot closer to my Lord and Savior.

I am thankful for family that have prayed and helped me over the years financially and emotionally. You have all been such a blessing to me and I am thankful to God that He has placed you in my life.

I am thankful for many more things....all my needs being met, my health, a car that works, lots and lots of blessings from the Lord.

Thank you Lord for every good and perfect gift is from above....(from the book of James.)

Hidden in Christ

This past Friday the girls and I made chocolate covered pretzels, pumpkin muffins, and pumpkin seeds for a bazaar at our church. We were hoping to make some money for Samaritan's Purse, an organization that helps the hurt and the poor around the world by supplying needs and bringing them the message of the Good News of Jesus Christ. Even though we didn't sell alot we had a lot of fun baking together and talking and meeting new people at the bazaar. Here are some pics of the girls working together:

I also wanted to include part of a devotion I read today in my daily devotion book, My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. It said, "The true test of a saint's life is not successfulness but faithfulness on the human level of life. We tend to set up success in Christian work as our purpose, but our purpose should be to display the glory of God in human life, to live a life "hidden with Christ in God" in our everyday human conditions (Colossians 3:3). Our human relationships are the very conditions in which the ideal life of God should be exhibited."

The title of my blog really pertains to what this is saying. I desire my life to show the glory of God in any and every relationship I have. That requires total surrender to myself and total obedience to the will of God.

Do I falter...yes

Have I failed miserably at this...yes!

But, oh, those times when I shined my Light to those around me...I felt a sense of peace, joy, and all that the Word says I am in Christ Jesus came true.

He is true...He is real...and the question I have now is....

Am I willing....

no...

am I determined to follow Him, daily, minute by minute, hour by hour, at all cost...

... to experience all that He has for me.

After all...

I know it can only be good and far better than what I have planned for myself.

God bless you all tonight.

Love you.

Happy Fall Y'all!!

It is so beautiful outside in our backyard. The leaves are so colorful and the girls and I and Lil' Phil love to go to the ponds and do schoolwork. We also feed the ducks and the geese and go fishing. We have two fish that K and Z caught with a net in one of the ponds. I don't know what kind they are but they love eating goldfish food and they are still alive after a week.

My man has been gone a little over two months. The days seem to be flyin' by now. We still miss him though very much and pray for him daily. We talk about once a week and the girls have been really good about making letters and cards for him. We hope to send cookies soon...

Today we went to West Produce Farm. We went on a hay ride and picked out a pumpkin. We had a great time and the kids learned so much about farming and harvesting bees and about how to plant a peanut pumpkin and all kinds of things.

Here are some pics of our day today:













Well I will write more soon...until then enjoy the beauty of God's creation. He made it for our enjoyment...

Take care.

Disciplining our children for His glory

Today I was able to Walk in the Spirit, I'd say 60% of the time...my goal is of course 100%....

So I am really working on loving my children and....disciplining them. I know they go hand in hand. I can't love without showing, teaching, and training them in the ways of God. I have to have a right relationship with God throughout my day, otherwise my teaching and training will be useless.

It says in Scripture that if I spare the rod, I actually am hating my child. I have heard a mother say, "I love my child too much to spank them." Yet scripture speaks clearly that the rod of correction drives our children far from hell. God's word is very clear about one thing in discipling our children. It is the rod.

My rod is a Paula Dean wooden spatula...(I'm living in the south so I figure that the tool I'm using for correction should be made up of some southern hospitality!!!) So anyway, it doesn't matter what you use I've been told, but how I use it. I have to ask myself, am I spanking effectively and biblically that will put a stop to having my children become separated from God???

Spanking has become so controversial in our nation today. Yet it is the very thing that God specifically talks about (several times in Proverbs) to discipline our children.

Going to sleep...

Hello blog world...

It has been an interesting and tiring couple of weeks. I have been having my ups and downs with baby and sick kids and been walking in a fog the past couple of days with lack of sleep...

But tonight I know it is gonna be better. Baby is sleeping and all the kids are sleeping and I am about to go to bed...

So I will write more soon. God has been showing me so much and I want to write about it so I don't forget...

Hope all is well with ya'll...

God bless.

Come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest...

Hello ya'll

Well since I can't go back to sleep and it is four o'clock right now in the am, just thought I would type a few words here...

I have been reflecting on the day that I had yesterday...another hard day, but a day to see God behind the circumstances as my devotion book tells me to do when faced with difficulties...

I realize now that I again let circumstances rule and did not let the Spirit of God rule in my heart...

I recently have written a few scriptures on notecards on doing God's will and obeying God's will. I have been correcting my children and praying and talking to them about doing His will instead of our own. God in turn has been correcting me by the circumstances I find myself in these days and showing me and teaching me to do His will because otherwise I find myself weary, frustrated, overly tired and so on....

I found myself that way today. The morning was wonderful and then as the afternoon wore on I started drifting away from His presence and into my own way of doing things. This showed me how just how desparate I am for Him and how badly I need Him in my life because I fail miserably without Him. I can do nothing without Him no matter how hard I try...

These are just some thoughts that are circulating in my brain right now as I am typing in black and not purple...oh how I miss typing in purple and want so badly to know why I can't change the color of the font??? (anybody know??) Such a small and silly concern right now, but just thought I'd ask...

I know Him

A rough day today....

no sleep for me or baby....cranky toddler....fighting and biting older kids....found out I missed a call from my hubby....missing broom and remote...messy house....sore breast...broke a ceramic dish....legs hurt from running....I could go on but I will stop...

To remember HIM.

Because He is all I need and I need him desperately. I don't want to appear like I need Him on just bad days but all day everyday on good days too.

I have been thinkin about joy...only Jesus can give us joy...yet, my circumstances a lot of times seem to zap my joy right out of me.

Joy commeth in the morning...the joy of the Lord is my strength...remember the joy of your salvation...these snippets of verses come to me as I type. Helping me to focus not on me but on Him...

A day like today wants to put me first...I keep thinking of myself and all my woes and sorrows...little things like why I can't type in purple anymore irritate me...!!

Yet I will rise and overcome me, myself and I because I know Him. He is my all and all...He has seen me through some awful times and He will see me through this day...

Let me fix my eyes upon Jesus for He came to overcome. And because of Him I am an overcomer. Why do I so easily forget who I am in Christ?

I am so so so looking forward to eternity right now. But God has given me another day and so I pray that I can make each moment count for eternity. I pray I can love, love, love on those around me as the Spirit inside works in me to do so. I pray that I can finish this race well because it will be so worth it when I hear, "well done my good and faithful servant." from a loving and mighty God.

Zaria's 7th Birthday

Yesterday we celebrated Zaria's birthday!!!

It was a lot of fun. We went to Chuck E. Cheese's and had a great time stuffing ourselves with pizza, salad, cake, and drinks. We also got a lot of tokens to play games...we were having soooo much fun we didn't realize how late it had gotten when we finally left the place....

With that being said, I am all birthday'd out for at least the next couple of months. Our next family birthday will be Anaya's and she will be three years old...

Before I go, let me tell you a little bit about our birthday girl:

-She loves to read chapter books.

-She likes climbing on things (like our couches, counter-tops, chairs, and even in her closet to sit on the very top shelf)

-She likes and has "boy" toys like matchbox and guns but she likes "girl" things too, like nail polish, make-up, and jewelry

-She is a great help with Anaya. She plays with her and (just recently) changed her diaper without Mama asking

-She likes to sleep with her older sister and she likes making cards and pictures for her.

We love you Zaria. Happy Birthday!!

Happy Birthday Kamelah

Yesterday, my first born daughter turned 9 years old!!! We celebrated at Cici's Pizza with her friends.

We also got to see dadddy on the webcam. It was so great to see him and he was able to wish Kamelah a happy birthday. I love being able to talk to him and see him at the same time...being that he is many many miles away.

So let me tell you a little bit about Kamelah:
-She loves to do arts and crafts projects
-She helps out a lot with the younger ones
-She likes to cook and bake
-She asks lots and lots of questions everyday
-She is very creative
-She is maturing in her walk with the Lord that amazes me and puts me to shame
-I learn a lot from her about stopping and enjoying the little things in life
-And I have learned so much about loving unconditonally and I have seen the Father's love, goodness, and glory shine through her...

I am looking forward to celebrating many more birthday with you Kamelah. I know each day is a gift with you and each moment counts toward eternity. Daddy and I only have a few more years with you to train you up in the way you should go. I will not take the time for granted but continue to sow seeds and love unconditionally...for that is all that matters and what carries us into God's eternal glory.

Much love to my BIG nine year old.

Trials and tribulations

Here I am this morning feeding baby and typing at the same time...multi-tasking proves to be very effective these days when you have four children and a household to run....

Yesterday was a learning experience for me...I have had a lot of those since my man has left, some spiritual and some physical.

I know now not to put your cell phone in the back pocket of your swim shorts before going swimming cuz you could forget about it like I did and then go cellphone-less for a while as you wait and hope it dries out and after three days of waiting you then realize it will not ever work so then you have to go get another one.

I also know now that you should never play a movie for the kids in the car unless the car is started. If you do then your battery could possible die at an inconvient spot (like at a school parking lot) and as you see the last car roll away while starting the car you thank God that at least you now have a working cell phone that will enable you to call and get help....

There were so many more learning lessons that I have gone through this past week like baby car seat anxiety, poop found in odd places as I am potty training my two year old, how to go to the post office with a crying baby and active toddler in tow plus two other kids and wait in line for 15 min. to only discover (as you make your way to the counter) that you forgot to bring in your wallet, and also how to go back to the post office a second time with crying baby and active toddler realizing that you went at nap time, which turned into two crying kids and a post worker laughing about them being in tune with each other....

Whatever trials and tribulations I have experience thus far, I know they have shaped me, molded me, and made me want to be more like Jesus. He was our example on how to live in this dark and depraved world. James 1:2-3 says, "Consider it pure joy, my [sister] whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of [my] faith develops perseverance." My faith needs to be tested, otherwise my faith won't grow and my relationship won't deepen with the Lord.

Trials big and small come to everyone. How we deal with them is what counts in knowing and developing our faith in God...in trusting Him...and in giving Him our problems and worries. I need to "humble [myself] under God's mighty hand, that he may lift me up in due time. [wish I could change due time into my time!!!] Cast all [my] anxiety on him because he cares for [me]. (1Peter 5:6,7)

How can I fathom the love that the Father has for me? He cares for me...He chasens those He loves.

My prayer then needs to be, "Lord, chasen me because I know it will only draw me closer to you..."

missin' you

It has been 11 days since my baby boo left. Only about 354 more days to go....

It has been real nice getting to talk to him about every other day. Hopefully the communication will be even better when he reaches his final destination in a few days. We hope to use the webcam so he can see the kids and so we can see him...

Tomorrow we will officially start school work. I will be making up a "schedule" to somewhat follow as we go through the year. I know life happens and things happen that make us stray off of the schedule but I like to have a guideline of what we need to accomplish each day....

So I better get off of here and get to work as there is much to be done while the kiddos are sleeping.

Much love to you all. And to baby boo: we miss you and are praying for you daily!!!

"Love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life." -Deut. 30:20

train up a child

Well it has been a little over a week since my baby boo left. We miss him so much. Little Anaya asks, "Daddy home mama...Daddy home?" whenever she sees his dirty army uniform (which has been in our laundry basket by the laundry room for several days now :) Can't seem to want to wash it just yet...)

We had a great time of swimming and doing school work yesterday. Swimming proves to be motivation to getting schoolwork done. I love that I can spend time with the kids after an hour or so of schoolwork. This gives me a chance to get to know them. I really want to know their hearts, their individuality, their personality and what's on their minds. I want to build a trusting relationship with them for they are growing so fast and will soon be having to make decisions on their own. I hope to train them up in the way they should go so that when they are old they will not depart from God's perfect will for their lives.

I hope to post more soon with pics...

Love,
MK

P.S. We miss you baby boo. Hope to talk to you soon.

My Strong Tower

What a day I had today... The main mission was to get cell phone fixed. Mission not accomplished. I failed to accomplish the mission after many attempts to do so... Which leads me to the topic that I want to talk about. It is about walking in the Spirit and not obeying the flesh especially when things don't go your way. I woke up "ready" for my day to begin. I was in the Word early this morning and wrote some scriptures on notecards to use throughout the day in the car and at home. Lord only knew that I would desperately need them and need Him today. I got the kids ready early today for church so that I could go to the Sprint store. We drove to what I thought was Sprint and ended up at Krispy Creme Donuts instead...(don't ask me how I did that...maybe the kids had some kind of influence in that decision!) So I finally find the Sprint store with a sign that says they are at another location. We live about 20 miles from the city and this location was on the other side of Fayetteville, another 20 miles away. So, to make a long story short I go to the other location after church and lunch and they are closed. I couldn't call them to find out their hours and so my desparate self drives there praying all the way that they would be open... Meanwhile, I have tired and cranky kids who like to get loud and scream and cry in the car. Baby does not like sleeping in his car seat or anywhere out of his comfortable bed. He was up most of the day and crying. I drive to a couple more stores tired and cranky myself, and get no help.
Well before I complain even more I will just say that these moments make me realize how desparate I am for God. At around 5 o'clock I began to fall apart. I was not thinking of walking in the Spirit but just thinking of myself and my circumstance. I took my eyes off of Jesus and thought only of the "storm" that I was in and I started sinking. I know I am an overcomer by the blood of the lamb, I am more than a conquerer, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I forget though... And so through small and big trials in life I am realizing now that God is bigger than me and my problems. He knows better than me and is in control of my life. He is taking me through these hardships so that it will strengthen my faith and make me stronger. For He, and only He, can help me and deliver me. He is my Rock, my Strong Tower...

Lil' Philip and Kamelah at the pool

why we have laundry

Kamelah and I were talking early this morning.

I told her I had a lot of laundry to do and reminded her it was her laundry day.

She said, "Do you think if Adam and Eve hadn't of sinned we wouldn't have laundry?"

"Yes, Kamelah." I said with a smile on my face.

Hadn't thought of that. But she was right....

Will write more later about our busy, crazy, tiring Sunday and how God worked it all out!!

Love,

MK

The girls and I went to one of
Daddy's favorite places to eat tonight:

about lil' Phil

Lil' Phil is 8 weeks old today! He has been such a joyful addition to our family.

Here is more about lil' Phil:

-he has little hairs on his ears
-he cooed at two weeks old and smiled at four weeks
-he likes to be swaddled
-he is very cuddly
-he likes the football hold the best
-he looks at you and has a conversation sometimes
-he finally likes the swing
-he likes being outside
-he doesn't like getting a bath
-he doesn't care about sitting in a wet or dirty diaper
-he is sleeping 5 hours straight at night now!!

And he has three sisters who still adore him and love on him constantly...

We love you lil' Phil and are enjoying each day with you. Looking forward to many more.

renewing my mind

Day 2 of my husband, my lover, my best friend being gone...

I get a lot of questions like, "How do you do it?" and "I'm so sorry" from some who I talk to about him being deployed.

I want to answer those questions with a good answer, a spiritual answer that is hidden in my heart, yet it seems like it would take a long time to explain.

So let me explain it here...
Romans 12:1 says, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will."

I reminded myself today of this verse as I got up this morning. I accepted Christ Jesus at the age of 29, therefore sin has no power and authority in me. I can feel sad, depressed, angry or mad, but Jesus Christ overcame this for me (for everyone!) so that I can have instead joy and peace as I walk in the Spirit.

That is how I do it....that is how I am able to smile in pictures right before my man leaves. That is how I am able to carry on without him. That is how I am able to train my children up in Truth, that is how I can stay sane when the world is falling down around me. My life is hidden in Christ Jesus now. My old self is gone and the new is here. I can be a good mother because Christ lives in me. I can be a loving mother because Christ lives in me. I can raise my children to love God and love others because Christ lives in me. He died so that I might have life...I don't want to waste my life on the mundane. The petty stuff. You know what I'm talkin about... like what the Word calls temporary things.

I want to live for eternity each and every day. Every minute of the day. It is, after all, only what counts. What matters the most is love.. loving the Lord my God with all my heart. If I do that, loving others comes easy. He loves so I can love because His love dwells within me...


I know that I am a single parent right now for a whole year. It sucks. I would love for my man to be here.

But this separation is preparing me to be useful in God's kingdom while I'm here. I know his ways are higher than mine, his thoughts higher than my thoughts. I am glad they are because I have some messed up thoughts sometimes...

I'm learning to trust Him and lean not on my own understanding. The world will look and talk and make discouraging or unhelpful comments about my situation...but...

I want to stay strong in the Lord. He is here with me, he cares about me. I believe He exists and that His Word is true. I will renew my mind in His Truth for it is all I have to stand on. It has helped me in numerous situation and it will help me now.

After all, I do feel His peace, His joy, and His presence that the Word of God speaks about.

So that is how I am makin it. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I can do this deployment and do it well in the Spirit. I have four beautiful children to raise for His glory.

I know He will be my helper. He is faithful. He will never leave me nor forsake me....

(Now does anybody know how I can make this answer somehow shorter?!)

A letter to daddy

Dear Daddy,

We love you and miss you. Last night we had to say goodbye to you. It will be a long time before we see you. It will seem like forever to us, but we will look forward to seeing you on our web cam and hearing your voice on the phone.

Today we had chicken noodle soup for breakfast. Kamelah wasn't feeling well so mommy made soup on the stove and we drank ginger ale.

When we were getting dressed, a neighbor dropped off this book. It is called, "I Miss You!" and it is a military kid's book about deployment.

We thank God for kind neighbors who care and understand.

At 11:00 we said goodbye to Grandma Mary and Grandad Phil. They will be back home on Friday with, they said "lots of junk mail" to look forward to.

Mommy took us to the library. Baby brother slept the whole time we were there.


Then she took us to the park and baby brother was still sleeping. It was hot outside but we still played on the playground and ate lunch under a shady tree.



We met a new friend at the park from our neighborhood and we hope she will play with us again.

We then went to Dairy Queen for some ice cream. Baby brother was still sleeping. He kept mommy up last night so he was tired...

We then went back home and mommy read us a story. Mommy had to work on the computer so we had quiet time for 30 minutes and then we got to play on the computer. We play on the American Girl website and PBS kids.

Then we got to watch a short video before dinner. We ate leftovers...chicken, macaroni and cheese, green beans, and sweet potatoes. We thought about you when we ate those sweet potatoes. We know how much you like them...we liked them too!!

Then we cleaned up and listened to Adventure in Odyessy on the radio. Mommy got lil' Phil ready and we headed outside for a walk. It was nice outside and getting dark. We miss walking with our neighbor and her dog. She is headed to Japan today.


After we got home we got ready for bed and mommy heated a soft pretzel in the microwave for us to eat. The phone rang a few times and mommy was hoping that was you. We prayed for you...we look forward to seeing you on the web cam soon.

Mommy read out of our devotion books and put us to bed. We will be helping a friend move tomorrow and going to one of mommy's friends for dinner. We will continue to pray for you.

We love you and miss you so much.

Love,
Kamelah, Zaria and Anaya

The birth story of Lil' Philip

lil' Phil shortly after birth



Motherhood: If it was going to be easy it never would have started with something called labor.
-Barbara Johnson

As with all my labor and delivery experiences, I don’t want to ever forget even the tiniest detail of each one. So as I think back at how we welcomed into the world our long awaited son in the most peaceful, special, and joyful way, I hope that I can describe, word for word, each incredible moment as they happened that day…
Here is the story of how God’s love, kindness, and faithfulness surrounded the birth of one of His own beautiful creations. I share this experience in order to magnify and glorify the One and Only living God, who continually shows me over and over again His love and devotion to His people. He is an intimate God, a relational God, a caring God, and He can be trusted. And as we pondered the thought of having a home birth, there came a point where I had to let go of the “what if’s” and make a decision to believe in the “I Am”, for scripture says, when I am afraid, I will trust in You, in God whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. (Psalm 56:3-4) Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

I started really feeling regular contractions at around 2:30 PM on Saturday, June 27th. It was a day that I did not expect to go into labor as my due date was the 30th of June and I had no “false” contractions or any indication that I would give birth any time soon. The girls and I went swimming in our neighborhood pool earlier that morning and I felt light cramping and slight back pain as I was helping Anaya learn to swim and catching her as she jumped into my arms from the side of the pool over and over again. I thought to myself, “This girl is gonna get me ready for labor before I know it!,” as I always did each time I went to the pool with her active little self, not really believing it though. We walked back home and I continued to feel cramping but didn’t think much more about it either.
Phil took Kamelah and Zaria out for a day of fun after we got home. I didn’t know where they were all going but I was glad that they would have some time to spend with Daddy. I knew Anaya and I would have our own little special time together. Little did I know how “special” that time would really be…
After they left, I felt an intense desire to clean dirt from the walls and to finish doing laundry. So we did some work around the house and then watched a short video as I started to feel more intense cramping and back pain regularly. I decided to time the contractions at around 3:15 pm and they were about 10 minutes apart. I waited to call Phil to see if they grew more intense and closer together. I knew the girls were having fun with Daddy and I normally have long labors and so I didn’t want them to rush home to have to wait a long time to see the baby.
I was getting excited at this point. If this was the real thing, then I was soon about to give birth to the son I dreamed of and desired to see since finding out I was pregnant.
4:00 pm. Anaya goes down for a nap and I go to the computer. I read a beautiful story of a woman who gave birth at home with her husband. It was encouraging and inspiring and so I prayed that this baby would be healthy and whole and that the labor and delivery would go smoothly and according to His plans. I called a friend and she prayed for me over the phone and after I contacted my doula, Ashley, she was praying too. I then felt confident that this baby was going to be born at home and I had no fears or doubts. The Lord had spoken to me in my heart and said that I was “in the palm of His hand”. I believed it and knew He would continue to give me peace throughout the labor process.
The contractions kept coming as I continued to prepare myself mentally for what was to happen. At around 6:00 Anaya awoke. I decided to take her to the ponds in our backyard to feed the ducks and geese and so that I could progress quickly in labor. I had forgotten about all the hills to walk up and down and the fact that I had a very active toddler to keep up after. She really wore me out runnin’ after her. She would look at me as I stopped at each contraction in order to focus and let them come. She knew something was happening but didn’t know what. I enjoyed being in a natural environment, yet I hoped I would be able to make it back to the house before baby made its way into the world. Our backyard is beautiful but not an ideal place for me to have a baby.
7:30 pm. I ran a bath and Anaya and I got in. It was nice and Anaya loved to the play in the bubbles, pressing the “bubble button” repeatedly and turning the water facet on and off. Meanwhile my contractions were getting even closer together…about 5 minutes apart. I tried to call Phil and left a peaceful message telling him I was in active labor, but it would probably be a while ‘til baby came. I did not want him to rush home because I knew they were all havin’ fun and a special time together.
I called my doula around 8:00 pm again and told her my contractions were coming closer together. She told me that she would come over as soon as she put her kids to bed. I didn’t want her to rush just as I didn’t want Phil to rush home because I felt such peace and thought again that this was just the very beginning. I had a long way to go….
Little did I know that I was dilated further along than I thought. Around 8:30 I decided to sit on a chair in the shower and let the water relax me. I had done this when I was in labor with Zaria and Anaya and it helped immensely through each contraction.
My little labor companion, Anaya, followed me into the shower. She was so peaceful and content. She did not cry, fuss, or whine the entire time I was in the bathtub or the shower with her. She stood behind me in the shower most of the time for almost 2 hours!
Ashley got to the house around 9:15 pm and I was still in the shower. She prepared for the birth, getting a bowl for the placenta, rubber gloves ready, a crock pot full of water to heat cloths, and scissors to cut the cord. My mail order home birth kit was opened and ready to use with umbilical clamps, pads, a syringe, gloves, and various other equipment to aide in the birth. I really started to experience contractions that were longer and more intense…three minutes apart.
At about 10:00 I decide to go to the bathroom and as I do my water breaks!! I am now completely sure I will give birth sometime tonight!!
Phil had not called yet but I felt confident that he was going to make the birth. I continued to have hard contractions as I leaned up against the side of the bathtub. I started feeling his head pressing down. Ashley told me to wait to push until I couldn’t do anything else but push. It was hard waiting…but I knew I needed to.
At this point I told Ashley to start the water in the bath. I thought that the water would help relax me as I felt my stomach tighten with each contraction, my back cramping up, and the pressure of baby’s head. Ashley read scriptures about strength, hope, peace, and love to help encourage me through the labor process.
At around 10:30pm Phil calls and Ashley tells him to come home soon as I am in active labor!! They were at a local football game and he had left his cell phone in the car. I was happy that they were coming and I knew I had to hold out before they came home.
At around 11:00pm Phil and the older girls arrive home and I am in the bathtub with my back facing them, contracting what seemed like every two to three minutes. They were probably all wondering what was going on but I couldn’t even talk or think about explaining at that point. Phil was calm and I turned and faced him and smiled as that was the only thing I could do until my next contraction…the smile turned into a small moan…
I remember asking Ashley if I could push yet…she kept telling me to hold out until I couldn’t bear it any longer. She checked me at some point and told me she could feel babies head. I was excited but didn’t want to be too anxious to push…with Anaya I pushed for almost 2 hours and it seemed like forever before she came.
At around 11:30 pm I really felt the urge to bear down. Ashley prayed that God would give me wisdom when to push. I had one more contraction and then at that point I pushed on the next one. I felt his head come out then go back in. Then with the next contraction I pushed again and he came out further… and then as I continued to push he came out some more. Ashley told me to let the next contraction build and then push all the way and…he came!!!!
I remember then laying my back up against the tub and Ashley putting his warm body on my chest right away. I cried as I looked at him. He was so beautiful. His lips were full, his hair was black and curly, and his body, toes, and fingers were perfectly formed. His eyes were closed and he did not cry at first. He seemed very peaceful and content lying on me as I held him in my arms for the very first time.
The hours after his birth were incredible. The girls came back into the bathroom right after he was born to meet their brother. I was able to feed him right away and Daddy was able to cut the cord. We enjoyed looking, touching, and holding our lil’ guy and I felt so blessed to have another beautiful healthy child to love and take care of.

Trust in the Lord and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Delight yourself in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
-Psalm 37:3-4



Ashley’s story of the birth of lil’ Philip:
I have all confidence that God, who created heaven and earth, planned out the day according to his perfect will. Around 9pm Ashley, the Doula, arrived at the Johnson home. Mary Kay was in the shower with her 2yr old daughter, Anaya. Mary Kay was very focused and let out no more than an "ouch" when the contractions came. God's peace had filled the room so that even little Anaya was filled with it as she watched her mom labor. Ashley went about setting items from the birth kit in place, while the contractions became increasingly stronger. Scriptures speaking of God's peace and strength and wisdom were read as Mary Kay leaned on the Lord for strength. She decided to spend some time squatting in front of the tub until she began to feel pressure from the baby's head. Her water broke, bringing more intensity to the contractions. She got in the tub to find relief, but only found the urge to push! She held back the urge until Phil made it home with Kamelah and Zaria from the Climbing Place. Warm wash cloths soothed back labor. Twenty minutes went by and two pushes later, little Phil was born! Phil Sr. cut the cord and Mary Kay was able to nurse right away. The placenta was delivered half an hour later. The girls welcomed their new little brother with kisses and lots of pictures. You could not have asked for a more peaceful birth. Thanks be to God for the many answered prayers!
This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him. -1 John 5:14-15

Pic of lil' Philip

Here he is at just two days old:

Lil' Phil is a week old!!!

As we celebrate the 4th of July we are also celebrating our baby boy being with us for seven days!!!

Lil' Philip,

We love you and are so happy that you have been with us for one week. We have enjoyed you and have grown in knowing and seeing our Heavenly Father's love through you. We look forward to many many more healthy and happy days with you.

Love,

Your family that is so blessed to haved you!

Philip Lawrence Johnson, Jr. has arrived!!!

Well my lil' Philip has been born and it has been almost a week since his arrival. I am going to post some pics soon and I am working on his birth story and will post that too. Please be patient with me as I am adjusting to his schedule. He loves being awake at different times of the night...especially around 4 am. That is when I can actually sit down and type and catch up on e-mail...

So I am enjoying every moment with him as I know that these days are going so quickly and he soon will be crawling and walking and doin' all sorts of grown things.

For now, I enjoy him looking at me with those dark brown eyes...I enjoy holding him and feeling his soft skin and soft hair...I enjoy changing his diaper...I really do. It is different than changing a girl....and he has sprayed my hands many times, so you think I would have learned to cover him with a clean diaper right away....
but, you know, I don't care because he has brought me so much joy and delight with these things that I laugh and kiss and hug on him even more...

I thank God for this precious little one...the days are passing so quickly, yet I am hoping to slow down the minutes as I hold and feed and care for our little angel...

I hope to share him with you all soon.

God bless.

39 weeks!!!

Hello blog friends and family,

Here I am at 39 weeks...not the best pic but just wanted to post this since so many were asking just how big I really am!!!

I am looking forward to seeing him and holding him and the girls are wanting to see him too...even Anaya seems to understand that I am having a baby...although she points to my breast and says baby, Mama, baby? (in an inquisitive sort of way..)

I hope my next post will show pics of our new little blessing....

Thanks for the prayers.

37 weeks-no picture

I am 37 weeks today and I am sorry I do not have a recent pic to post. Hope to get one on here soon as time is flyin....

Babies head is down and seems ready for labor...

Mama (that's me) is preparing my mind for the pain because I know once I feel that first contraction it'll all come back to me of all the labors in my past. I wish each kid you had the labors become less painful but so far for me they have not.

It is so worth it though and I can't wait to see him and look at him and praise God for another little miracle.

Love in Christ,
mk

It feels like summer time here!!!

Hello hello hello blog fans and friends.

I know it has been a while since I last posted...and I got so many comments about how much you missed me blogging so I just knew that tonight I could not let my blog followers down....

So...

This is what we have been up to:

-lots of fun since the weather has warmed up. Swimming, playing outside, eating ice cream and popsicles and inviting friends over to play...
-which leads to distractions from school work...but that's o.k. because we are having fun....
-and having some disappointments. Nothing major, just the Cavs losing, pet snails dying, and having to take 2 baths in one week after playing in the dirt and mud....
-still waiting on baby. I am 36 weeks....
-praying for a quick and safe delivery...and dreaming of one too!
-noticing that our lawn needs some major attention and the property owners' association noticing too...
-and I am noticing how I have changed my mind about not needing help after baby is born. Looking forward to my family coming to help and looking forward to meals being made as I humble myself to these gracious people helping me (so so hard to do, but I can get used to it!!!)
-so thankful that His mercies are new every morning....

Love,
mk

Baptized

Kamelah was baptized yesterday and I am trying to post the video but it is not working...this computer does not like me....(Kristen...help me!!!)


But anyway I hope to post the video soon.

Here is Kamelah and the other kids right before the baptism:

Kamelah is coming down to get baptized:

This was a very exciting day for me to see my daughter being baptized. She asked Jesus to come into her heart at three and then at a VBS she asked Jesus into her heart again when she was six. She made the decision to be baptized and in doing so has made it public that she will follow Jesus the rest of her life... it is a celebration... it makes me feel overjoyed to see her doing something so important that will impact her forever....

yet I know the celebrating is not over. It is a moment by moment decision to follow the Lord. It is not easy. She will have to continue to work out her salvation through trials, tribulations, hardships....Jesus said to pick up His cross and follow him daily even when others are not. Even when the road He has you on seems to hit a dead end...

Let me preach a little bit more to ya because I need to hear this myself...(can I get an amen!!)

I am proud of my daughter and what she is becoming. I am thankful that God is working in her at an early age and I hope and pray that she continues to seek Him with all her heart. I pray that her relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ would continue to grow and that she would continue to glorify Him in all she does.

For His glory alone.....

32 Weeks!!!

I am thirty-two weeks this week!!! (Does it look like I am carrying twins because two people have already asked!!) I do feel like I am carrying bigger with this one than the other three. My youngest was 8 lbs. when born so I hope he won't be much bigger than that. Looking forward to this little one coming soon....

I found this verse in 2 Cor. 4:16-18 that really speaks to me this season in my life. "Therefore, (I) do not lose heart. Though outwardly (I) am wasting away, yet inwardly (I) am being renewed day by day. For (my) light and momentary troubles are achieving for (me) an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So (I) fix my eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

Each day brings new trials, challenges, and sometimes heartache but there is purpose in all that I do and all that I go through...which renews my soul and strengthens my spirit day by day. I am to fix my eyes on what is unseen, what is eternal...that is what counts. Eternity seems so far away to me while living day by day here on Earth, but in retrospect it is not that far at all. Eternity looks like this:

. _______________________________________________and so on

That dot represents my life here, but that line represents eternity. The scripture commands me to fix my eyes on the line, where there is no more pain, suffering, hurt. That line means experiencing loveliness, holiness, perfectness, and total oneness with my Creator and my Lord and Savior forever. I am sure looking forward to that....

But in the meantime there is a purpose here on earth in which I need to strive to achieve. God has given me a purpose here and so I need Him to renew me day by day in order to go and do the things He has called me to do.

That means going through hardships and trials and.....pain sometimes in order to get there. I hate pain....I am thinking about labor pains right now. I know once that first contraction comes the pain and the memory of it will come back to me. But I also know that with each contraction it will bring me closer and closer to seeing my son whom I have been blessed and priviledged to have and whom I have been praying for, for a very long time. God is so good in creating and bringing this precious little one into the world and I pray and hope he and I will be glorified, shining the light of the Son of Man to others through the truth of God's word and through the Lord Jesus Christ.

For His glory.....

these days are passing fast...

I would like to update you all on what we've been since the last time I blogged.


We had an Easter Party, went on a picnic and Easter egg hunt, took shuttle to the Easter service as we parked in the overflow lot so that Mommy (that's me) could get a free cup of coffee, tried to get my driver's license, failed the test, tried to get car insurace, almost didn't get it, but God found favor upon me and got it just before I went out of town, went to Columbus, GA, saw lots of friends, stayed up late way too many nights, worked on being patient with the kids even when kids were irritable, impatient and demanding to me, drove 8 hours home with kids and stopped three times, was a nice drive and would do it again, saw husband and was happy to see him after a month and a week of not seeing him, we worked on the garage until 1:30 am in the morning the day I got back from my trip, was tired, but woke up ready to go to church, heard a message on our purpose, really learned how to believe and trust in God in the midst of difficulty, pastor said he gets concerned when he has a lot of good days in a row, through the difficult times the Lord is strengthening you, growing you, giving you a deeper sense of your purpose here on Earth, read the Psalms last night, said in Psalm 27, "teach me your way, O Lord; lead me in a straight path", made me think about listening and hearing him speak to me throughout my day in teaching me to be more like Christ, that he will lead me safely and not cause me to stumble...and so then today we went to Bible study, went to the library, made a pecan pie for daddy, taught the girls how to knit, and blew bubbles outside....

So that is it in nutshell on our past two weeks. I am 31 weeks pregnant and feel baby kicking harder and harder it seems each day. Am looking forward to seeing him and holding him. What a blessing!!

Love to you all.

Happy Resurrection Day (a day later!)

Hello All,

What a beautiful day here in North Carolina to celebrate the Resurrection of our Lord and Savior. Early this morning I was awakened in order to prepare myself for the day. Spending time in prayer and the Word and reading of how Jesus conquered death and sin for us all in the book of Luke excited me once again!!!

How humbled I am to have a Savior that cares for me that much to be willing to die for me. And not only that, but to give me a new life, a new heart, and to cleanse me of all unrighteousness. I thank Him for His glory within me. His Spirit is in me and I am a new creature. I am at awe at His goodness and graciousness that He has showed me especially these past few months. I have been trully seeking Him (as life experiences have caused me to be desperate!) and listening to the voice of the Holy Spirit as I teach and train my children and myself. They are teaching me to be patient, gentle, and kind as I work and walk along side them and as the Holy Spirit guides and directs me. I am eternally grateful that I have the Spirit as a comforter, a friend, and a close companion, who is with me 24/7 during these difficult times with Phil being gone, and three children to raise in a dark and depraved world.

I plan to continue to celebrate His resurrecting power within me each day, and thank Him for the gift of the Holy Spirit and for the gift of salvation. He broke every curse that the enemy has on my life and my families life and for every man, woman, and child here on Earth. What great news for all to hear and to accept... Thank you Jesus. You are Real, you are True, and you are the only way to God!!!!

For His glory,

Mary Kay

Romans 6:4-6

"Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. For if we have been united together in the likeness of His death, certainly we also shall be in the likeness of His resurrection, knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin."

The Lord disciplines those He loves!!!

"My [daughter], do not despise the Lord's discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the [daughter] he delights in." Prov. 3:11-12

It has been a while since I posted. We have been in AZ and back and are now getting ready to go out of town again next week. My man is gone for a month and we really miss him...

But I know that him being gone has been good for me. The Lord disciplines those he loves and have I been goin' through the spankin' process with the Lord. Not physically of course but in my heart.

My husband's postion requires him to be away from us quite frequently. I have been learning how to let go and to trust God with my man. I love my man but I am loving my Lord and Savior more and more. I am lonely many nights but I am not alone.

I have had to rest in Jesus when frustrated and hurt. I could not do that before. I would be anxious and not fully put my trust in Him. I am learning how to love my children and see them through God's eyes. I am relying on the Holy Spirit more and more and asking Him to teach me and guide me and train me in training my children. He will speak to me but I have to listen. I don't like to hear what He has to say sometimes but I know He cares for me and wants me to be more and more like Christ. I have been going through healing in areas where sin once stood its ground. I am living out the word of God and its truths. God does not want me to stay where I am at right now, but trully wants me whole and healed this side of earth. I have to be willing to give Him everything and to trust Him. I praise Him for waiting for me patiently in giving of myself to him. I am to offer my body as a living sacrifice which is holy and acceptable to Him. This is my spiritual act of worship. So.....

Lord,
I do not want to conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but I want to be transformed by the renewing of my mind. It is so hard when family, friends, and neighbors do not seek Your ways but the ways of this world. Make me stronger, and my family stronger to follow and seek only Your ways. Your ways are good for us because You have a plan and purpose for us and it is a good plan to use us to further Your kingdom here on earth. Help us to continue to seek after you and be molded into the image of your son Jesus Christ.

For it is His power and glory alone that live in us. Let Your light shine upon us so that we can be a light to others in this dark and disturbing world....

mk

Happy Birthday to Me (yesterday)!!!!

Thank you God for 31 years (11,315 days) of being a live. I had an awesome time celebrating with family. I thank God for being with me all of these days and continuing to be with me forever. He knows me more than anyone one...Scriputure says He knows my thoughts before I think them. He knows all about me...and yet...He loves me and is still with me, never to leave me or forsake me.

I thank Him for my family and for good health and for much much more....



Thank you, also, to family and friends who called, sent cards and gifts, and sent e-mail and facebook messages. I love you all.

God bless!!!

Speak Lord, for your servant is listening....

Hello fellow bloggers and friends,

I have had a day to reflect on. My God and Savior lives and reigns and He is taking me through the wringer, for He chastens those He loves!!! It hurts and its hard but He does it for the purpose of love...He really cares and wants me to be healed, whole, and freed from the bondage of sin in my life....

So on Sunday I heard a powerful message from our pastor. It was a message I truly needed to hear at this season in my walk with the Lord. It was about the Holy Spirit. He gave several examples of the Spirit working in the lives of David and Samuel in the OT. For example, Samuel was being trained by Eli the prophet as a young boy, and God called Samuel. Not knowing it was God, Samuel thought it was Eli speaking to him one night. Then Eli realized it was the Spirit of the Lord calling Samuel and he told him to say to the Lord, "Speak, for your servant is listening." And He spoke to Samuel that night...

So our pastor challenged us to ask the HS 10-15 times a day, What are you saying to me? What are you doing? When I focus my questions to the HS all day long I am to expect Him to answer me....and He does!!

He has talked to me about my impatience with my daughter, my unbelief and trust in Him, and my anxiousness to want to get things done my way...and to do it when I want it done. I have been out of God's will in those areas of my life and the Holy Spirit is here to teach me, to guide me, to encourage me, and to lead me closer in my walk with the Lord. I have often forgotten that His presence is with me at all times, even when I sleep. Yet I haven't really reached out to Him to truly do the job that God has established for Him to do in my life.

I continually have that phrase from Scripture in my head...speak, Lord, for your servant is listening...even though what He says may cause me to have to humble myself and ask forgiveness from my daughter (like today!), to swallow...really rid myself...of pride and allow the workings of the Holy Spirit to cleanse me and to heal me and to break the chains of sin, and bring me closer and closer into His glorious light!!!

I praise God He is not done with me. He has more to give if I am willing to receive...if I am willing to be quiet and say...speak, Lord, for your servant Mary Kay is listening.

Pics of the Birthday Girl!!!

Here's the Birthday Girl:

Blow out your candles:
Chuck E. himself made an appearance to hug the birthday girl and friends : Eating ice cream with Anaya's birthday friends and moms:

My lil' baby's birthday celebration!!!

It's Anaya's birthday today!!!! We celebrated at Chuck E. Cheese's and Anaya had a great time. She did not quite understand what a birthday was before we arrived but I think she knows now that it involves a lot of special treatment just for her and she loved it (of course!!) I even have pictures to prove it...but my friend has them on her camera so....sorry blog friends. I can't post any pics today but hopefully soon....

My lil baby is 2 and I can't believe it!!!! She was my longest labor/delivery at 20 hr+ of focusing on breathing and allowing my contractions to come, and 1 1/2 hrs.+ of pushing... well, let me just say that it is still fresh in my mind of the long, strenuous, and tiring labor. I am praisin the Lord just like I did that day for her grand entrance into this world, and it was worth every labor pain...(I can say that now!!)

I prayed today that I am looking forward to celebrating not just many more yearly birthdays, but her spiritual birthday. I thank God that he created her and made her in his image and each day I know is such a gift to have her in my life. But I know what she needs the most. It is not the presents, candy, and all the cake she can eat that we typically have at every birthday that will satisfy her soul. What she needs is the Lord Jesus Christ to cleanse her soul and renew her spirit and make her whole. I loved celebrating her birthday but I look forward to the day that she has trusted in Christ Jesus to be the Lord of her life, where she will become not only my daughter but my sister in Christ, guaranteed to have a place with her momma in heaven.

Love,
a blessed daughter of the king

I am but dust....(and I am not talking about the thick layer covering my furniture right now!)

It has been a week since I last updated....my oldest wants me to update more often. I think it is because she likes to see herself on the internet and read about herself.

I know it will be great to read and look at past blog posts and see how much the kids have grown and changed in wisdom and knowledge of our Lord and Savior. And how much I have grown as well...

Speaking of which...

God has been so gracious to my whiny pathetic self these past few days. I have been under emotional stress and pressure brought upon myself and my circumstances. I have heard that we may not be able to change our circumstances, but we can change our attitude in our circumstance...(whoever said that I oughtta beat them up right now!!!) But really that just reminds me that through the trials and tribulations of life I need to trully put my trust completely in the Lord with all my heart...and not lean on my own understanding but acknowledge him in all my ways and he will make my path straight. I have this proverb framed by my bedside but I just recently started looking at it, pondering it, meditating on each word and really taking it to heart. God's presence is here, I am surrounded by His goodness, He blesses my stubborn, pitiful self all the time...sooooo what do I have to be in self-pity about.

Thank you Lord that you still speak to me...for I am but dust...

Love,
Mk

I feel love in the air....and from the cross...

FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD
THAT HE GAVE
HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON
THAT WHO SOEVER
BELIEVETH IN HIM
WILL NOT
PERISH BUT HAVE
EVERLASTING
LIFE

JOHN 3:16

This may be the only time you see red typed on my blog....but I wanted to recognize this holiday with a little valentine message from Jesus. The greatest love gift that was given to all mankind was God's gift of His one and only Son. He was bruised for our iniquities and He shed His blood for our transgrations. Thank you Jesus for dying a brutal and painful death so that the floodgates of heaven could be open to me, and so that I could experience the love, joy, and peace of our Heavenly Father throughout all eternity.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE!!!

Some great news!!!!

We are praisin' and shoutin' and thankin the Lord for our great news:

I am so looking forward to having this precious little boy, a son, to add to our family of precious daughters. I am so happy the girls will have a brother to love on and help take care of...

I thank God for answering our prayers and am so honored to be carrying a son whom I hope and pray to raise up to know and love the Lord and to serve and glorify Him.

Love,
a truly blessed momma!!!

Dinner conversation

Anaya likes to say the word "hot" a lot these days. One time at dinner I told her to say thank you to me for making dinner and she responds, "hot, mama!" And the girls laughed and she laughed and thought it was funny. She then proceeded to say it again three or four times and the girls continued to laugh and laugh. And then finally she says, (when she finally realizes that Mommy won't let her down until she says it) "thank you, Mama...hot, mama!" (ha ha ha...) We have gone through this conversation ordeal almost nightly since then and each time she says it she looks at Kamelah and Zaria to see if they are going to laugh.

So today at dinner Anaya does her usual "hot, mama" saying as I tell her to say thank you for the meal. Then Zaria says, "Mommy, I don't think Anaya is saying hot like the food is hot. I think she is saying hot like your hot mommy." I say, "I consider that a compliment, thank you very much." Anaya says, "Thank you Mama...hot, mama!!!" (lots of laughter...)

P.S. Kristen, have you been keeping up with your bible reading? (Just thought I'd ask, my one and only blog reader friend!!)